T3+Descriptive+writing

 __** My Dream House **__

Not far from where I live there is a house and when I'm older I want to live in that house because it is a mansion. The house is huge its five stories high, has 50 yards of backyard space, has a 200inch TV, a movie room, big bedroom, huge kitchen, 5 maids, large dinning room, tennis court, basketball court, a huge garage filled with luxury cars and it cost $100million. I can’t wait until I buy it cause I really want to be in the mansion. 

 Sophistacated Hipopotamous

There once was a sophistacated hipopotamous that was as fast as a tiger as sneaky as a snake and as smart as a monkey. He was the worlds best puzzle maker ever and he never lost. The hipopotamous lived in an underground palace and has never been found since. He sits on his favourite chair that moves like legs on a crocodile and his mattress is a strechy as skin. When he moves his feet he makes banging, bonging and bashing. He allways says that hes the best and that he will win the chapionship for the 3rd time in a row.  // There once was, this tells me that the hippo is no longer around? but he'g going to win the championship for the 3rd time in a row? confusing? think about your writing. You are starting to describe somethings well. the first sentence told me a lot about the hippo. Try to really paint a picture when you are writing, talk about colours, feelings, nosies a bit more. //  // Next learning step: // // Use more language features, including adjectives. // // Try to describe the scene better, what did the under ground palace look like?, feel like?, smell like? //  // Miss Connor //